Ebay pulls ‘Mein Kampf’ upon discovery Hitler doodled Chinese man with chopsticks in margins [satire]
Ebay Pulls ‘Mein Kampf’ Upon Discovery Hitler Doodled Chinese Man With Chopsticks In Margins
March 5, 2021
U.S.—eBay today released a statement that they will be pulling Mein Kampf from their site after the shocking discovery that Hitler drew a Chinese character in the margin who was eating with chopsticks.
“We are horrified and saddened to discover that Adolph Hitler engaged in racist caricatures like this,” said a spokesman for eBay. “All of us deeply regret that customers enjoying a nice socialist manifesto were unwillingly exposed to such harmful bigotry. We express our deepest apologies and hope our oversight about Hitler has not contributed to racial violence against the Chinese.”
Other major distributors quickly followed suit, with Amazon additionally stopping all sales of chopsticks to people with Asian-sounding names. After seeing what corporations were doing, the Biden administration bravely denounced Hitler’s drawing and said it will be issuing executive orders imposing restrictions on Chinese restaurants so no one will ever be exposed to the harmful sight of an actual Chinese person eating with chopsticks.
Journalists questioned if there might also be problematic text in Mein Kampf, but Biden explained that “unlike a cartoon, putting people in camps and committing genocide is simply a different cultural norm! We’ve got to understand that President Xi needs to bring unity by doing lots of the same things that Hitler did, and we can’t be out there acting like he might order people’s torture while eating with chopsticks. That’s racism, systemic, kung pao! Open Biden!”
In Mail-In Impeachment Vote, Senate Convicts Trump 8275 To 3 [satire]
In Mail-In Impeachment Vote, Senate Convicts Trump 8275 To 3
February 10, 2021
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic move, the U.S. Senate decided to switch to voting by mail for Trump’s second impeachment trial. After all the votes were counted by an intern in a back room with no cameras, the Senate ruled to convict President Trump of incitement to violence by a vote of 8275 to 3.
“Our holy democracy has spoken,” said Senator Chuck Schumer. “Do not ask any questions or you are a blasphemer against the sacred sacredness of our vote. Everyone can go home now!”
A couple of troublemaking Senators attempted to overthrow the Constitution by bringing up the point that there are only 100 Senators, making it impossible to arrive at a tally of 8275 to 3, but they were quickly removed from the Senate Chambers and condemned for “attempting to suppress the votes of people of color.”
The Senate then moved on to other business, passing universal healthcare by a margin of 320,000 to 4.
Nation Prepares To Celebrate 1st Anniversary Of Two Weeks To Flatten The Curve [satire]
Nation Prepares To Celebrate 1st Anniversary Of Two Weeks To Flatten The Curve
February 8, 2021
U.S.—The nation is preparing to celebrate what is expected to become a beloved annual holiday: Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Day, to be held in March every year.
“This time of year we like to come together to remember the historic day one year ago when we put on masks and locked ourselves down, trusting that the lockdown would be over in just two weeks,” said local man Paul Christof as he stared out his window longingly, his three masks securely in place. “This year, I’m going all out with a Zoom party with no more than five of my closest friends — I mean, closest, figuratively speaking, of course. We’ll be literally far apart, because I want to stay home and stay safe, and I don’t want grandma to die.”
Traditional festivities for the newly christened American holiday include remote Amazon gift exchanges, ordering DoorDash feasts for just yourself, and the customary binging of the Netflix. Historians believe the holiday will become a hit, and people will continue to wear masks and stay home throughout the year as the festive day is celebrated for hundreds of years to come.
Here’s some good advice: “If you ever, ever run out of Got2b Glued hair spray, don’t ever, ever use Gorilla Glue spray in your hair”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMuVfTe7Aec
YouTuber JennaMarbles apologizes for being funny. I can’t tell if her apology is real, or if she’s just making fun of all the idiots who apologize for everything that they have ever done.
By Daniel Alman (aka Dan from Squirrel Hill)
June 27, 2020
It’s probably been a few years since I last watched anything by JennaMarbles on YouTube. I’ve seen a few dozen of her videos over the years, but I was just a casual viewer, not a big fan.
In this new video, she apologizes for her past videos, which I had always thought were funny, but which she now claims are actually offensive.
Is this apology a satire?
Is she making fun of all the idiots who apologize for everything that they have ever done?
Or is she actually being serious?
If she really is being serious, then that’s really sad. No one should be ashamed for being funny.
If this apology is satire, then it’s one of the greatest tricks that any YouTuber has ever pulled. So good for her!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz3mQhuMACs
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Note from Daniel Alman: I’d like to recommend that you visit Whatfinger News. It’s a really awesome website.
Chris Rock – How not to get your ass kicked by the police!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8
YouTuber AwakenWithJP: Why the Lockdown Should Last Longer (satire)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxznGIj8Ja0
YouTuber Media Bear: “I Wear My Face Mask in the Car” (parody of “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night”)
I did not create this video. I’m just posting it here so people will see it.
If you want to see something that I did create, I recommend this: Here are 100 reasons why I’m against the COVID-19 lockdowns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DDXG-dHugc
And for those of you who may to too young to know the original by Corey Hart, which the above parody is based on, here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8
YouTuber AwakenWithJP: Cooking When You’re Quarantined – Cooking with a Narcissist Ep. 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du9SrNvg52Y
YouTuber InVoca / by Raúl Irabién: Coronavirus Rhapsody (based on Bohemian Rhapsody) – Covid19
InVoca / by Raúl Irabién
CORONAVIRUS RHAPSODY
Vocals: Raúl Irabién
Lyrics: Dana Jay Bein (@danajaybein)
Video post production: Daniel Reyes (@danielreyesmx)
Audio master: Armando Olabuenaga
Based on original song “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Freddy Mercury and Queen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eo9M4-BrJA
Ocasio-Cortez Appears On ‘The Price Is Right,’ Guesses Everything Is Free [satire]
https://babylonbee.com/news/ocasio-cortez-appears-on-price-is-right-guesses-everything-is-free
Ocasio-Cortez Appears On ‘The Price Is Right,’ Guesses Everything Is Free
April 12, 2019
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was pumped to attend a taping of The Price Is Right in Hollywood this week. The special guest introduced herself as a U.S. representative and rising star of the Democratic Party. Things got interesting when the game began and every time it was her turn to estimate the price of an item her answer was “free.”
Items included a set of Italian leather handbags, an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas, and a brand new 2019 BMW 330i, at all of which Ocasio-Cortez shouted, “FREE!”
When host Drew Carey asked if Ocasio-Cortez understood the game’s rules, she told Carey not to cat-call her and then responded, “Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me.”
She went on to guess that diamond earrings, a set of jet skis, and even a giant pile of cash were all free. Carey unveiled a package containing world-class healthcare and she said, “Definitely free.” She was at one point puzzled by a stack of croissants but eventually guessed that they also were free.
Ocasio-Cortez was never able to advance to the game proper, and as the credits rolled she appeared visibly upset. A hot mic picked up comments she made in frustration, claiming that the game was rigged by capitalism and that “everybody knows giant piles of money are free, that’s like basic economics 101.”
I created this COVID-19 meme based on Peanuts. Please feel free to share it.
I created this COVID-19 meme based on Peanuts. Please feel free to share it.
You can see a larger version at https://imgflip.com/i/3vx2kt
I created this COVID-19 meme based on The Simpsons. Please feel free to share it!
I created this COVID-19 meme based on The Simpsons. Please feel free to share it!
There’s a bigger version at this link: https://imgflip.com/i/3vwy2q
YouTuber DoubleParker: Breaking Bad Coronavirus Parody – “Walter Wipe”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyIzhRvtIJ0
I created this COVID-19 meme based on the TV show “Freaks and Geeks.” Please feel free to share it.
Full size image at https://imgflip.com/i/3ulo88
I recently found these three hilarious images on the internet
I did not create these images.
I do not know who did create them, so I cannot give credit to their creators. I am including links to show where I got them from.
https://i.redd.it/9m5hi78dkyi41.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/FIhlEwh.jpg
https://i.redd.it/fiw5auk0jyi41.jpg
Global warming hypocrite Al Gore says he supports the Green New Deal, but his actions are the exact opposite
Al Gore just spoke out in favor of the Green New Deal.
However, his actions are the exact opposite.
This video is called, “Hitler gets mad at Al Gore’s global warming hypocrisy.” The video’s description includes links to sources to verify the statements that are made in the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfr37Xn9IL8
Jussie Smollett: The Lifetime Movie – Between the Scenes | The Daily Show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEpZzvSzYfI
Crybaby Trump is against free speech and doesn’t have a sense of humor!
Here’s a skit from the most recent episode of Saturday Night Live:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vQlhWBvAwY
And here’s a tweet that Trump made in response: (original, archive)
The text states:
“Nothing funny about tired Saturday Night Live on Fake News NBC! Question is, how do the Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution? Likewise for many other shows? Very unfair and should be looked into. This is the real Collusion!”
So Trump wants “retribution,” against people who were peacefully and lawfully exercising their first amendment right to free speech. He also wants them to be “looked into.”
Trump took an oath to preserve, protect, and defend the U.S. Constitution. He ought to be ashamed of himself for thinking that the people at Saturday Night Live are somehow exempt from the first amendment’s right to free speech.
Video: Getting revenge on package thieves with a glitter bomb and fart spray
After someone stole a package from this guy’s porch, the owner created a booby trap for the thief. It contains a glitter bomb, fart spray, multiple cameras, a microphone, and a GPS tracking device.
I watched and enjoyed the entire 11 minute video, but if you only want to see the multiple times the booby trap goes off on the different thieves, skip to 5:40
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo
